Main

December 04, 2005

And It Won't Be Over Until It's Over.. Over There!

Although I originally worried that it would be cartoonish, I became a fan of the FX Network TV drama 'Over There'. What can I say, I'm an Iraq War junkie and a fan of ensemble cast serial TV drama. 'Over There' managed to transplant the formula into a plausible Iraq, and the cast made the best of what was in some cases quite awful dialogue. Unfortunately, 'Over There' has been cancelled, because Americans are about as interested in watching a drama about the war in Iraq as they are paying attention to the actual war. I guess we can go back to watching old M*A*S*H* re-runs.

15 year old IMDB User 'stealthguitar7' has the final word, for all those who threw a hissy fit about.. a TV show.
OK as a 15 year old teen i know a lot about the military for MY age and i plan to join the army (thought of it even before this show)and lath those who have so selflessly severed our beloved country i must say this. LIGHTIN THE HECK UP ITS ONLY A FREAKIN T.V. SHOW I MEAN THERE NOT RIGHTIN A BOOK REPORT. with that said were are still titled to our own thoughts and ideas so just live and let lie after all its only Hollywood.any ways what i think about the series is that its the best perspective we have on whats going on over there (besides those who have been over there) i know this because its the ONLY view we have besides the new and i think they should continue making this show for as long as they can and hey for all of u "haters" as other teens say then i say just don't watch it i mean if u have gone through at least 6 weeks of basic then i know u can turn the freakin channel i mean come on i can.
(Thanks to q-ball for the hookup.)

October 27, 2005

Mind The Mess

The kind people who host Nuclear Beef have recently upgraded the version of Movable Type which it uses. As a result, we've lost a few customizations.

First, we've lost the blogroll. I've got it around here somewhere, so I'll be re-linking y'all in a bit. Second, we've lost the custom RSS/Atom Feeds for only the Audio Video Beef posts. I hope to be able to reconstruct those, shortly, so that people who are subscribed to them will continue to be subscribed. Third, some of the post dates appear to have been munged in the process, such that the Atom feed no longer correctly sorts by date. Fourth, the page no longer lists my contact email, nuclearbeef AT gmail D0T com.

I apologize for the mess, and hope to have it cleaned up soon. Please let me know in comments if you experience any unusual issues. Also, If there's any Friend Of Beef out there who wants to help me take this opportune moment to give this poor default site a much-needed stylistic makeover.. please let me know. email : nuclearbeef AT gmail D0T com.

UPDATE : RSS feeds are fixed. Thx to teh k-v.

October 21, 2005

Asthma Fetish Photos At The BBC

A friend of mine pasted me this link almost a year ago. Since then, I've had it up in a tab of my browser. Why? Because I care about the cleanliness hypothesis for allergies and asthma?

No, because of this picture :

IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S CHUGGING CAWK!!! HAW HAW HAW!

Ok, I'm glad that's finally out of my system. Now I can close that tab with a clear conscience. Shouts out to adamb, who first noticed the cawk chugging pic.

September 26, 2005

Giving It Up For Free Movie Tickets

Like quite a few other blog-wh0res, I am posting about the new movie Serenity because they're hooking me up with free tickets to see it this tuesday. I was going to go see it anyway, because Firefly rocks. But hey, the price (free) is right. I even used one of the images from the site, tho I cropped out out all the unimportant bits. I'll even be posting a review. How awesome is that.

UPDATE: The PR company incompetently messed up the blogger handling at the SF Preview so I'm going to give them the review that their half-assed effort deserves.

'Serenity' was great. If you liked Firefly at all, or if you've ever enjoyed an episode of Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica or any other Sci Fi or Action movie, you should go see it. They did a good job of staying true to the TV show and putting in fan service while making a movie that would also entertain newcomers. It was real good. The marketing people could use some work.

Continue reading "Giving It Up For Free Movie Tickets" »

September 12, 2005

Groo Vs. Katrina

Some Different Beef Today. Comics Beef!

(Groo doing his best Mayor Nagin impersonation. Click for Larger.)


'The Village Of Miggledy', Groo The Wanderer Series 2, #37, published by Epic Comics in 1988. Groo created by Sergio Aragones

I've been following the controversy surrounding the disaster relief response to hurricane Katrina. To balance the overwhelming humanity of the suffering, I've also been reading Groo comics. For those who don't know, Groo is a barbarian whose stupidity is matched only by his love of slaying people in combat. He's incredibly dim, but you know.. you can learn a lot from a dummy.

Each story ends with a moral, and this issue's moral seems particularly relevant to the New Orleans clusterfuck. Groo is so reknowned for destroying whatever town he wanders into that the people of the town of Miggledy freak out when they hear he's coming. By the time he actually arrives, they've destroyed their own town in their panic!

In case you don't want to actually read the comic to get the punchline, here it is :

(The Moral. Click for larger.)

Yep.

(Use CDisplay to read cbr files, which are actually just renamed .rar files. Oh, and give some money to The Red Cross, huh? Also, the K-Otix Bush Katrina Diss Track over at Soul Sides is excellent. I don't necessarily agree with it, but it's funny as hell!)

June 01, 2005

Hungry.. For Destruction. Appetite For Pakistan!

I was reading this awesomer history of Guns n' fuckin' Roses a few days back and decided to look at the Amazon reviews for Appetite For Destruction. There, I found this gem of the Internet Age. Strangely, it had been posted just a few days earlier...
It's a little too much and a bit obscene. It's GNR!, May 16, 2005

Reviewer: S. Shahzad Aslam (Karachi, Pakistan) - See all my reviews

Being 13, I can't really use the very popular "way back in '87" format, but I still have to say that Appetite For Destruction is the best rock album I've ever heard, and I've heard most, from The Beatles to ... everyone else.

My cousin had just come back from America, and her boombox was blasting out guitar riffs that seemed vaguely familiar ... "Take me down to the Paradise City--" BANG. I found myself finishing the chorus. I had heard this somewhere before! And as I listened the album through (which I'm doing right now -- "My Michelle" is starting) I knew this was my favorite band on earth. Four years on, it still is.

"Welcome To The Jungle" rolles out the Welcomewagon with a party rocker, great riffs and a beat you want to jump to. "It's So Easy" has Axl sounding like ten more of himself, and then the masterpiece that is "Nightrain." It's a fantastic song, and one of the best GNR tracks. "Out Ta Get Me" and "Mr. Brownstone" are galaxies apart as far as tune and beat go, but one is just as good as the other, that is, great. Then that fateful song, "Paradise City," the immortal intro and the brilliant solo, ending with the chorus repeating constantly over some incredible guitar work.

"My Michelle" is another great track about writing a letter to a chick called Michelle; "Think About You" is a great song, too. "Sweet Child O' Mine" deserves another 1000 words - no, paragraphs. The intro is genius, the lyrics are sublime, and the second half is beyond simple, perishable words that vanish as soon as they come out of your mouth. An incredible solo which is kicking off right now, and the ending keeps up the great tradition of Slash and Axl in very (very) loud mode, yet in harmony and complementing each other. Axl/Slash are just as good as Plant/Page, Tyler/Perry, Bon Jovi/Sambora and anyone else, probably better. After that, come "You're Crazy" and "Anything Goes," both lots of fun and tracks you will never tire of. Both are fast-paced rockers, and they're GNR, so they guarantee their quality themselves. To finish, "Rocket Queen" is a brilliant song, one of the best.

From "Welcome To The Jungle" to "Paradise City" to "Sweet Child O' Mine," and lastly, but far from least, "Rocket Queen," this is the only album on my iTunes that gets 5/5 straight through. As for "Rocket Queen," it is the perfect ending. It ends with a very long verse, Axl professing love in a high-pitched voice, and Slash baffling you with the magnificence of the guitar that he plays. A GLOROIOUS ending. And I have only 2 minutes before it starts, so better hurry now. "Anything Goes" will be over soon ...

All in all, this is the best rock record ever, and a prelude to the two albums that, IMHO, are its two runner-ups. This made me hungry for destruction! And best of all, MY parents never objected to Axl's obscenities, and never objected to anything at all until my dad accidentally put on Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Alas! Poor, poor, desecrated disk ... I can mourn later, I've run out of time! Are you still reading? Get the bloody album!
(emphasis mine)

I love Appetite For Destruction and so does S. Shahzad Aslam, 13 year old music fan from Pakistan. If you do the math on his story, he first heard Appetite when he was 9. In Karachi, Pakistan! He's obviously a huge GnR fan, and I send him props from America. Too bad about that Hedwig CD...

S. Shahzad Aslam, if you happen to google yourself and see this... you should start a mp3 blog. You've clearly got the talent and the love of music. And you like Guns N' Fuckin' Roses!!! Rock on!

April 14, 2005

My Nigga The Pope

(click for larger)

Heartfelt (and inappropriately executed) tributes to Pope John Paul II continue to appear throughout the American landscape. Thanks to db and his fiance l for this little piece of graffiti hilarity.

April 04, 2005

All Brains Sits In Liquid

I've been accused of focusing too much on the misdeeds and pecadillos of my peers on the left side of things. Here's an hilarious example of the derangement on the right over the Terri Schiavo fiasco, from a commenter named 'Carol Herman' on the right-wing Captain's Quarter Blog.

(These comments are in reference to a story which noted that Michael Schiavo had Terri cremated and planned to keep her grave site secret from her parents. This decision has apparently since been overturned by force of law.)
The miscarriage of justice is complete.

But to michael, I'd say this. Hitler cremated so many, and there are no places to go to see the final resting place of the dead. Ditto, 9/11. It's not as if Americans haven't come to terms with 'no grave doesn't mean out-of-sight."

And, when the medical examiner releases his report, we'll see that Terry was a mere concentration camp victim anyway. How much does a body weigh, after it's been starved of water and dehydrated? Did she weigh 65 pounds?
...
Does michael do a dance if the medical examiner says that in Terri's starvation her brains were reduced to the size of a prune? Does it matter? Can greer run his confidentiality seal around the medical examiner's tongue? I think not.

And, a dancing goul is still just a dancing ugly-man. Most of us know that a young 21 year old Terri married a monster. And, got locked in.

Now, we're told by the felos types that homosexuals also want marriage rites. Made to order. Just like that. But with a dabble of promiscuity added.
...
Oh. And, let me add a secret. A neurologist told me. Everybody's brains sits in liquid. That's why we can be bruised. Our brains shaken. And, the FLUID (LIQUID) works as a SHOCK ABSORBER.

Will the medical examiner find "liquid?" REALLY?

She was starved to death for 14 days. Dehydration did it's poisonous work.

And, if the dem-dim-dumbs think this was very clever of them, I think they'll lose more soldiers yet, in their battles and skirmishes with the PEOPLE.
...
Did ya learn anything new?

All brains sits in liquid.

Whatever the medical examiner did, he still must do it with accountability. If he's the last left loon on earth, others will go over his report with a proctoscope. That means they'll stick the microscope high up into his behind, searching for the liquid in his brains, if he GOOFS.

Now you tell me? You've spent a fortune going to medical school. You end up with the refrigerators as your profession. You're always called to crime scenes. You know, for a FACT, that when homosexuals kill each other the view is a bloodbath worse than anything "normals" can do.

You're testifiying when you're not slicing and dicing.

And, you're thinking the medical examiner is a bozo?

Nah.

He goes to events where Michael Baden stars. He certainly knows what it feels like when other doctors think you're a moron. Even if you're in Florida. Home to Disney. The last thing you want to be in LIFE (where you mother and father might even still be alive to see your reputation mentioned in the "dailies.") ... The last thing you want in life is to be called one of the dwarves.
...
What future comforts ahead? I'll leave that in the capable hands of God, upstairs. And, between our President and Tom DeLay, we shall see what we shall see?

Imagine there are still goofs around who don't think concentration camps happened? And felos spoke of Terri as brain dead?
...
Water in Terri's head? How? She was dehydrated.
...
On the other hand, when the cororner releases his report, he can claim (if he were a silly loon) that Terri died of Alzheimer's Disease. Not a Chinaman's chance in hell that it's gonna come down the pike this way.

But the CAUSE OF DEATH: Dehydration.
...
What Terri did, and the Shindler's did, was similar to Dorothy arriving in Oz; and finally she was able to pull back the curtains.
...
No wife in the world deserves to be treated the way an out of the way court, in Florida's hindquarters, decided to do, to compete with Shir'a laws. Which are no laws, to begin with. Just bullies and sticks.
...
I think that what the coroner reports will deal with what he finds examining her body. What to look for are the mistakes. If he says he found fluid in her cranium; HA! All the fluid is dehydraded out. What putz would say a raisin has fluid? And, we're talking about dehydration beyond "raisin" here.

Yes, I'm quite sure that the coroner will soon report that there was no fluid in Terri Schiavo's brain as, you know, she was dehydrated. Which means somehow that the atrophy of half of Terri Schiavo's brain was all a lie, and when the truth comes out in the autopsy there'll be hell to pay for the evildoers!

I swear, I couldn't make this paranoid raving homophobic crap up if I tried.

Someone seems to have put the brain of this Carol Herman person in a liquid... pickling brine.

February 21, 2005

Beef Teriyaki

Just a quick note in case anyone is checking in regularly and wondering why there haven't been any updates in a while. There's a simple reason... I'm in Japan! I have two songs I'm already planning to post, but net access is teh suxxx at this hotel, so they'll have to wait until I'm back in the states.

For some fun while I'm away, be sure to check out the comments for the previous entry where one of the MCs on the track (Atypical) responds to some of my snide commentary on Sween's album. I'll be responding in the comments and dropping him an email when I get back, but I wanted to clarify just a bit here.

Most of my jabs in that entry were directed at Sween's artistic direction on Face Punch Music, not at those featured on his album, or the city of Albany, or the hip-hop scene of Albany. As I tried to indicate with my language ("Albany must have some mean streets") I don't know much of anything about Albany or its hip-hop scene. What I don't get is where Sween's persona is coming from. I understand branching out in an artistic direction, adopting a character and so forth.. I just don't get why Sween feels a need to be so GRIMEY. That's what I was trying to get at via the comparison to the Insane Clown Posee and early Eminem... the confusion I feel at MCs whose artistic inspiration is to cast themselves as hyper-violent assholes. My preference has always been towards music which is personal and sincere and coherent, and I don't feel that in Sween's 22 tracks of ruggedness. I was so frustrated with his album because he's clearly a very passionate and talented guy.. but from his entire album the only track that wasn't off-putting on a personal level was the track I posted. The 'Robolitics' track made it clear that the MCs were creating characters to express themselves. The rest of the album sounds like Sween really wants to convince everyone that he is a vicious, aggressive asshole. I just don't grasp why, hence my commentary.

With regards to Atypical specifically, I really like the beat he produced on the track that I posted and I'm looking forward to hearing what he comes up with in the future. Thanks for the feedback, and welcome to The Beef!

February 05, 2005

Broken Beef Pt. 2

Just a quick note. The people who host my images and media files had a system meltdown, and have been down for a while now. Update and a new post as soon as they come back.

UPDATE : It's back. Thanks to the people involved for their work to get it back quickly.

January 02, 2005

RIP Lennie Briscoe

Just wanted to take a moment to note the passing of a great actor, Jerry Orbach. Quite possibly the best TV detective EVER.

Friends, co-stars mourn Jerry Orbach
"He always knew his lines -- and yours, too," said choked-up co-star Sam Waterston, who joined 300 people for the hourlong service at Riverside Memorial Chapel on Manhattan's West Side. Orbach, a Broadway song-and-dance man who achieved his widest fame as Detective Lennie Briscoe on TV's "Law & Order," died of prostate cancer Tuesday night at age 69.

Rest In Peace. Thanks for all the memories.

December 09, 2004

Broken Beef

The people who host my files have apparently taken it upon themselves to summarily delete my entire Nuclear Beef directory without notifying me or asking me to move the files somewhere else. Until further notice, all links to media are broken. Sorry.

UPDATE : I still haven't heard anything from the admins, so I am restoring what I can from my harddrive at home. If anyone has a directory with all, most or some of the video or MP3, please contact nuclearbeef A@T gmail d0t com. Sigh.

UPDATE : I've recovered a lot of files, but there's still a lot missing. Look below the cut for what has been restored and what hasn't.

Continue reading "Broken Beef" »

November 10, 2004

Mythbuster Kari = Hot

Just a quick entry to point out the obvious :

Mythbusters builder Kari Byron is smoking hot.

(Click for larger)

(Hoo.. Lawdy. The fact that she can build stuff doesn't hurt either. Of course, Scottie Chapman (on the left in the top pic) is a great builder and quite a cutie herself...)

UPDATE: Kari and Scottie have rocketed to the top of my search terms. You're blowing up, ladies! Feel free to drop me a mail at nuclearbeef AT gmail dot com if you want to hang!

FURTHER UPDATE: Nuclear Beef now has an entire category dedicated to Kari Byron Pics. Enjoy.

October 01, 2004

Kerry As Artie Ziff

I don't have much to say on the debate. I'm sure everyone else has already said everything. Really the only thing I have to add is that John Kerry comes off like Artie Ziff from The Simpsons. His selling point seems to be that people should support such an obviously brilliant candidate.

Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king. Good for you!
-- Artie Ziff's acceptance speech, ``"The Way We Was":http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7F12''

Update: OOOPS. This post was in the wrong category, and got incorrectly aggregated to mp3blogs.org. Sorry!

September 22, 2004

Nuclear Beef Is Temporarily More Awesomer

www.NuclearBeef.com hosting is moving between hosts later today (Wed, Sep 22).

In the interim, you can use http://www.awesomer.org to reach The Beef. The site move should be transparent, but nameservice caching will point towards the old IP for a few days.

UPDATE: If you can see this, you're on the new server. Beef... you're soaking in it. Thanks to kylev for all of his hard work, which made this migration completely painless from my perspective.

September 07, 2004

How Embarassed I'd Been If You Knew What I Was.. Linking

Hi there. I've noticed that lots of people find this page by searching for certain oddly similar phrases :
the faint desperate guys lyrics
the faint lyrics desperate guys
the faint and lyrics and desperate guys
the faint merch booth putting on i like you
lyrics - desperate guys - the faint
i was acting indifferent putting on makeup lyrics
faint at the merch booth lyrics
faint lyrics desperate guys

(Well, you get the picture.)

Turns out there's a demand for the lyrics to Desperate Guys by The Faint. An untapped market niche, as it were. Apparently I'm not the only person who likes this song, and thinks the lyrics are clever. Mark my words, this Faint album is the one that blows them up huge. MTV time for The Faint.

In the interest of being a total whore (and how!) here are the lyrics to 'Desperate Guys' by The Faint, from their (September 14th, 2004) album Wet From Birth. This page will be the historically first result for the above queries which actually contains the requested content. Will being "first to market" make my Int0rnet dreams come true? Time will tell!

One small step for the InnerWeb. One exceedingly self-referential blog entry for mankind.

(Transcription is mine, though all credit is due Allah. Only the mistakes are mine. Copyright obviously belongs to The Faint.)

Was it more than attraction and a physical lust?
Her loins, my imagination, that first inconceivable touch
That I was planning, uh, I mean wishing, uh..
How embarassed I'd been if you knew what I was thinking

And whoa, when it started, my first thought was love
Not just lust, because when I heard you speak, I felt warm
In the evening I saw you, you were warming the bass up
Your hair covered your face up
I was acting indifferent at the merch booth, putting on makeup

We met up at a party in a swamp on a yacht
I spun the helm, but we were docked

I crossed my fingers, but I didn't beg
Cause I knew you knew
Cause I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
But I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you
I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you

Close to you, wishing we're conjoined at the tongue
Can you hear me thinking? I should stop

I crossed my fingers, but I didn't beg
Cause I knew you knew
Cause I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
But I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
But I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you

I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you
I knew that desperate guys
Would never have a chance with you

I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it

Here at The Beef, we aim to please. You aim too, please.

(If you came here via a search for these lyrics, why not stroke my egosay hello in the comments for this post? While you're at it, have a look around! There's silliness and good music afoot.)

August 04, 2004

Web Addiction Excuses Conscripts in Finland

CNN (Reuters) reports:

A number of Finnish conscripts have been excused their full term of military service because they are addicted to the Internet, the Finnish Defence Forces said on Tuesday. Doctors have found the young men miss their computers too much to cope with their compulsory six months in the forces.

July 26, 2004

Guns or Soccer

Haitians lay hopes at Ronaldo's feet
In the four months since the former president Jean-Bertrand Aristide was forced to flee Haiti, only one foreign force has shown the potential to reunite the country - the Brazilian football team.
...
The best that is hoped of the United Nations, whose soldiers recently arrived to replace the Americans, Canadians, French and Chileans, is that they manage to keep the pro-and anti-Aristide factions apart. But when the Brazilians play a friendly football match against Haiti in August, divisions will dissolve for at least 90 minutes. Brazilian troops, who make up a large part of the UN peacekeeping force, arrived last month bearing gifts of 1,000 footballs for Haitian children. The Brazilian president, Luiz Inacio "Lula" da Silva, plans to attend the game. But to get a ticket for the big match, each fan must turn in at least one gun.
I first saw this story in The Economist but forgot to link it until today. Simply put, I think this is a great idea. Given the choice between guns and soccer, I bet a lot of Haitians will choose soccer. I also like that the article (in the Guardian, no less) basically acknowledges that the Brazilian Soccer Team is more likely to bring stability to a country than UN forces. Maybe in America we should have like, a Super Bowl where to get in you have to turn in your bad attitude.

June 22, 2004

Downsides of American Approach to Medicine

10 Million Women Who Lack Cervices Still Get Pap Tests

As many as 10 million women who have had hysterectomies and who no longer have a cervix are still getting Pap tests, a new study finds.
[...]
"We were actually quite surprised. [...]These women are being screened for cancer in an organ that they don't have."
[...]
Dr. Noller said he tried to dissuade women who do not need Pap tests.

"I will present the facts to them," he said. "I will try to talk them out of it."

But, he said, "if they still insist, I would probably do it."

Meanwhile the Primary Category for this post is "Stupid Stuff".
Does the selection of the Primary Category have any affect on
what we see (not in my browser so far) ? And what are Pings ?
This Movable Type manual is complicated, but perhaps someone
has a short explanation.

June 06, 2004

Slack Massacre in Jenin!

Nightlife, in Jenin?
Before the intifada, remittances from legal and illegal laborers in Israel (and a good deal of auto theft) fueled the local economy. But crossing into Israel illegally is now a thing of the past, a task too difficult and too dangerous. Back outside the Chamber of Commerce, marijuana and cigarette smoke mingled as several dozen men waited, some in vain, for permits. They hoped to gain permission to purchase or sell cheaply made clothes in Israel, or fruit, or anything that would put food on the table. In perfect Hebrew, the men there explained that stability had returned, but jobs remain elusive. It seemed like the town's new mantra.
I guess unemployed slackers are the same everywhere.. getting stoned while waiting in line for a handout!

via the Big Guy

May 29, 2004

Vote Fred^H^H^H^HTed Christ!

So I think I may have decided who I'm voting for this year. It may surprise you, but he's a very religious person. No, not George Bush.. Ted Jesus Christ God.

Why? Well, I'll let the candidate's Summary of Ted Jesus Christ GOD for President of the United States of America to THE KING of the USA to THE KING of World Earth to the New Earth speak for itself.
1 This is 04-15-04 and if Ted Something Something who has also chosen the name of Ted Jesus Christ GOD cannot get into the Whitehouse being THE KING then HE will TRY to get in their getting voted in by the American people and the President of the United States of America and therefore Ted Something Something that also has chosen and regularly uses the name of Ted Jesus Christ GOD is OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCING HIS intentions and CANDIDACY and that HE is running for the Presidency of the United States of America and to be voted in by the American people
At least Ted knows how to accept a nomination! How about ethics? Can we trust Ted?
3 Ted is THE MOST HONEST US Citizen running for the President of the United States of America and can and will ACCEPT CAMPAIGN DONATIONS if these have NO STRINGS ATTACHED and HE will do NO Deals in the slightest and make NO Promises in the slightest relating to these funds.
Wow, obviously the most honest US citizen should be the President. How's Ted on Homeland Security?
5 Ted does want for the US to build Deep Underground Eco Enclosed Cities and this for US Federal and State and Local Governments and Top US Citizens.
Damn. Deep Underground Eco Enclosed Cities. I wonder if I qualify as a Top US Citizen? But how's he going to pay for these DUEECs?
6 Ted does want to pay off all US Deficit and make Deficit Spending COMPLETELY ILLEGAL. Ted does want to raise the US Taxes a Trillion Dollars a year and this to pay off the deficit and NEVER again practice deficit spending and to build many Ted Jesus Christ GOD Deep Underground Eco Enclosed Cities.
Well.. he's for a balanced budget. That's good! But.. raising taxes a Trillion Dollars a year? I'm not sure I can get behind that. Maybe his views on the war on terror will persuade me.
9 Ted does want to CONQUER ALL of World Earth and this using diplomacy and the fact that HE is Christ and God and the Creator and also Nuclear Missiles and NOT do this primarily deploying troupes all over World Earth. This is NECESSARY to fight TERRORIST and TERRORISM and is ESSENTIAL to WINNING the WAR on TERRORISM!
Now he does say he wants to use diplomacy, which I think is noble. I think he's really planning to rely on the fact that HE is Christ and God and The Creator. Oh. And the Nuclear Missiles.

Strong on defense? Check.

But how can he compete with the big money candidates?
24 Ted does UNDERSTAND that the front runners for President of the United States of America have MONEY and Kerry has a wife that is worth almost half a Billion Dollars and is RICH and Bush has money and is getting HUGE Campaign Donations and how can Ted who is POOR compete with that? Is becoming President of the United States now only for the RICH to SUPER RICH or RICH and FAMOUS? Ted this is how this is working currently and this is TRUE. Ted we are working on some things and do not worry or get too upset or lament. Then Ted is NOT Weather Vaning in the slightest and WANTS to DO what is RIGHT for the current and future situation of America and therefore is NOT going to get any Money attached to Deals and is only taking money with NO STRINGS ATTACHED and is making some enemies with them like Tobacco and Alcohol and Pharmaceutical Companies and More and what about that? Ted you can soften up your position and then later MANEUVER and this is what some Politicians DO to get in and then later MANEUVER HARD!
Ted sounds like a political survivor. A deft strategist. Exactly the kind of man I want at the helm of our fine nation. How about long term plans.. you know, the 'vision' thing?
13 If the USA gets into a HUGE Nuclear WAR then these would NEED to Carpet Bomb their own soil and this would be a MERCY KILLING of ALL of their US Citizens on the surface that were not in Ted Jesus Christ GOD Deep Underground Eco Enclosed Cities. Actually for the United States of America it is that these will if getting into a HUGE Nuclear War these will have to Carpet Bomb ALL of World Earth with Nuclear Weapons to prevent invasion from many different Countries and Nations that are enemies and some that are friends. If Carpet Bombing ALL of World Earth and the United States of America has the only Ted Jesus Christ GOD Deep Underground Eco Enclosed Cities then these have WON and will be able to repopulate ALL of World Earth are their leisure. If the USA does not DO this now then these will have to live with Terrorist and War and Threats and future War with Nuclear Weapons and Weapons of Mass Destruction far into the future.
Wait a minute.. did he just say.. we could.. repopulate ALL of World Earth at our leisure? Dude. Whatever else he was saying there sounds cool too. I like nukes. So does Ted have any hidden secrets or weaknesses?
20 Ted is hearing that some are saying that Ted is Jewish and therefore will NOT win based on that fact alone and Jesus was Jewish and Ted is Jewish and Ted is Jesus and Ted is saying that HE is JUDGING that for any that understand enough of Teds Race and or Politics and or Religion and do NOT vote for HIM then Ted is JUDGING that these are LOST and will be getting ETERNAL DEATH and that minimum unless HE make an exception. Why? Because if you cannot accept the Race and or Politics and or Religion of Ted then you will NOT be happy in Ancient Heaven in the slightest because this is FAR MORE TO THE RIGHT and is MUCH MORE IN LINE with Teds Race and Politics and Religion. Ted is now hearing that there are many Jewish in Ancient Heaven.
Uh oh. I guess I'll be voting for a loser again this year. If only he were Catholic. Doesn't being Jesus Christ count for anything with these so-called Christians?

Don't blame me, I voted for Fred Ted Christ!

April 25, 2004

Alls Odd That Ends Even

This is an entry of Odds and Ends which I want to share with folks. Matters of No Importance which are unlikely to result in an argument. Sometimes, everyone has to take a break from being an Evil Genius.

First, we have GreasePig and their impressively obsessive SF Streets and Smoki projects. I found this site through their excellent Journey Through The Menu at Henry's Hunan, which is a must visit for anyone who loves Henry's as much as I do.

The SF Streets project is a neat idea:
The rule is this: to finish a street, I have to travel the length of it either by foot or bike (possibly motorcycle, I haven't made up my mind yet). Then I take pictures and give a review of the street.
Second, some exciting old new games coming out :
  1. Open Transport Tycoon, a open-source clone of the classic Chris Sawyer (RollerCoaster Tycoon) game. This is particularly notable in light of the comprehensive TTDPatch and Sawyer's own plans for an updated TTD called 'Locomotion'.
  2. Sid Meier's Pirates! is getting an update by the man himself. I can't even explain how excited I am about this.
  3. The Bard's Tale from Faran Brygo 's new Inexile Entertainment. (Who have recently applied for the 'Wasteland' trademark..)
Third and last, an email address that everyone can use at Heywood Jablome. (via LarryC, who should start blogging already).

UPDATE : confluence.org is a similar (very neat) obsessive project.

April 16, 2004

Michael Moore is Not Human

Michael Moore is Not Human

First, can we stop the Orwellian language and start using the proper names for things? Those are not "contractors" in Iraq. They are not there to fix a roof or to pour concrete in a driveway. They are MERCENARIES and SOLDIERS OF FORTUNE. They are there for the money, and the money is very good if you live long enough to spend it.

Halliburton is not a "company" doing business in Iraq. It is a WAR PROFITEER, bilking millions from the pockets of average Americans. In past wars they would have been arrested -- or worse.

The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not "insurgents" or "terrorists" or "The Enemy." They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow -- and they will win. Get it, Mr. Bush? You closed down a friggin' weekly newspaper, you great giver of freedom and democracy! Then all hell broke loose. The paper only had 10,000 readers! Why are you smirking?

Can you hear how badly Moore wants the (yes) terrorists and insurgents in Iraq to win? The contempt in his voice for the "mercenaries" who provide security for the reconstruction effort?

What are these brave, valiant revolutionaries up to in Iraq these days?

Now I'll Show You How an Italian Dies!

THE Italian hostage murdered in Iraq used his last words to spit defiance at his killers. As a pistol was pointed at his head, security guard Fabrizio Quattrocchi shouted: 'Now I'll show you how an Italian dies!'

Italy's foreign minister, Franco Frattini, said yesterday: 'This boy, as the assassins were pointing the gun at him, tried to take off his hood.

'He shouted at them. He died as a hero.'

Quattrocchi, 35, was shot in the back of the neck as another kidnapper filmed the execution. He is the first western hostage known to have been killed in the current crisis.

Fabrizio Quattrocchi died a man.

Michael Moore can't even live as one.

April 09, 2004

Richard Clarke : Insincere Apologist

Richard Clarke has received lots of adulation as a result of his apology to the victims of 9/11. This apology has been advanced as proof of his sincerity and willingness to frankly admit his failures, on the record.

"Your government failed you," he said, his voice close to breaking. "Those entrusted with protecting you failed you, and I failed you." "We tried hard," Mr. Clarke went on, "but that doesn't matter, because we failed. And for that failure, I would ask -- once all the facts are out -- for your understanding and your forgiveness."

It's difficult for me to accept this apology, because Clarke refuses to go on the record about another of his failures. Specifically, the genocide in Rwanda which occured while he was in a position to do something about it.

Frontline's Ghosts of Rwanda has interviews with many Clinton Administration officials, including Anthony Lake (National Security Advisor, 1993-1997) and Madeline Albright (who was US Ambassador to the UN at the time).

Curiously, Richard Clarke was not interviewed, although he was in charge of US peacekeeping policy at the time. Perhaps he was out of the loop?

Nope.

Madeline Albright

ALBRIGHT: The secretary-general basically came to the Security Council with three options: either to reinforce this UNAMIR group, which really was inadequate; to withdraw it completely; or to have a kind of medium option of some reinforcement of it. My instructions were to support full withdrawal. I listened to the discussion very carefully in the Security Council. I could see that our position was wrong, and especially in listening to the African delegate, Ambassador Gambari from Nigeria, [who] was very moving on this.
...
I felt that I would get a better hearing if I called the National Security Council, which I did, and they said, "Well, no, we're worrying about this, and these are your instructions." I actually screamed into the phone. I said, "They're unacceptable. I want them changed." So they told me to chill out and calm down. But ultimately, they did send me instructions that allowed us to do a reinforcement of UNAMIR; not a massive changing of the mandate and enlarging it or withdrawing it, but the middle option allowed me to support that.

Q: I have been told you talked to Richard Clarke, that the conversation was with him.

A: That is correct.

Q Why Clarke?

A: Because he was in charge of peacekeeping. The way the National Security Council was set up was that this was coming through those people that had been studying what the appropriate role of peacekeeping was at the United Nations. Now, this was a truly interesting time at the U.N., in terms of trying to figure out what the role of peacekeeping was. There had been a number of peacekeeping operations throughout the history of the UN, but they were primarily operations that came in to monitor cease-fires, to make sure that there was separation between contending sides. They didn't often have authority to get involved in any fighting. They were definitely the neutral observers.

All of a sudden, in the early 1990s, there was the recognition that the United Nations could have a much larger role. So we were looking generally at the role of peacekeeping, and Dick Clarke and others were in charge of developing a new peacekeeping policy that had begun to be discussed under the Bush administration, that ended up being this Presidential Decision Directive 25. And that listed how, and under what circumstances peacekeeping operations would be supported by the United States.

To be clear about this. Albright called Clarke at the NSC because she disagreed with his policy supporting complete withdrawal of UN peacekeepers from Rwanda. She was so upset by this policy that she screamed at him, eventually getting his consent to support the (skeletal) remains of the UN peacekeeping mission.

So why is there no Clarke interview? For the answer we must turn to the transcript, which is not yet available. In the narration of the episode, we learn that Clarke refused to be interviewed by Frontline for this report.

I'll believe that Richard Clarke is sincere about his apology for 9/11 when I hear an apology for his role in the Clinton/UN ignoring of Rwanda. I'll believe he's sincere when I hear his public apology to the loved ones of 800,000 murdered Rwandans.

UPDATE: Apparently Mark Steyn drew the same connection in this article from April 8th, 1 day before my post.

March 05, 2004

Ok, Stabitha..

Wal Mart Greeter Steals Baby Formula From K-Mart, Kills Himself

The recent death of a Whitehall Township resident charged with stealing $140 worth of baby formula from a South Whitehall Township Big Kmart shed new light on the growing problem.

The man, who worked as a Wal-Mart greeter, routinely sold formula to convenience store owners in the Allentown area, said Whitehall Township police Chief Theodore D. Kohuth.

Apparently upset about his shoplifting arrest 10 days earlier at the Big Kmart, the man stabbed himself to death on Feb. 12 in his apartment, Kohuth said.

I linked this in the last post but upon closer inspection I think this deserves its own moment in the sun

What kind of guy stabs himself to death over baby food?

March 02, 2004

I Get High With A Little Help From.. Williams?

Liquid soul isn't the only drug you'll come across in this game..

(I apologize in advance for the awful Gamespot writing.)

There are two playable characters in NARC, and you'll switch back and forth between the two as the storyline warrants it. While the characters originally shared the names used for the cops in the original NARC, a 1988 arcade game, Midway has decided to move away from that, and instead, the characters are Jack Forzenski and Marcus Hill. Marcus is a DEA agent with a troubled past and an axe to grind with the drug pushers of the world. Jack is a recovering addict who is taking life as a police officer one day at a time.
...
In a somewhat shocking twist, you'll actually be able to use the illegal drugs you confiscate throughout the game. In fact, they'll actually give you short-term benefits. Smoking marijuana causes the player to go into what the developers call "weed time" which is functionally identical to Max Payne's bullet time in that everything slows down, thus giving you more time to react to a crowd of enemies. Speed, as you might expect, makes you move quickly. Dropping acid fills the screen with crazy colors, but it also gives innocent citizens large jester heads while giving criminals large devil heads--for easy identification. Smoking crack causes the controller to vibrate as though you have a heavy, pounding heartbeat and pumps up the damage you can do. Finally, taking liquid soul turns everyone onscreen into an enemy, but it also lets you kill everyone with one hit (pardon the pun). The developers of the game are quick to point out that while there may be a short-term benefit to using drugs, there's a negative side to it as well.

I assume one of those negative side effects is thinking that you should code a remake of NARC where you can SMOKE CRACK. Maybe the executives at Williams were smoking some crack when they decided to cancel their most excellent pinball division. I guess we'll still get Mortal Kombat 57 1/2 though. You don't know the half of it.

February 04, 2004

Unmasked!

Who Is The Real Howard Dean?

Now I know that Howard Dean is so like, two weeks ago and over.

That said, bolhuijo did this awesome photoshop revealing the TRUE face of Howard Dean :

Props to AndyW for the idea.

February 03, 2004

Solidarity, Sister!

Store bans trolley woman

SHOPPER Patricia Evans was barred by a supermarket for having her trolley the WRONG WAY round.

Teacher Patricia, 50, pushed her trolley alongside the checkout facing forwards.

But an assistant told her she had to turn it around because the cut-price LiDL chain insists they must go in backwards.
...
After paying for her £30 goods she was told: "Don't bother coming back - you are banned."

She said yesterday: "It was outrageous. They don't talk to you like that at Marks & Spencer."

As a person who is known to extract the highest performance from his shopping cart, I feel it is my duty to stand in solidarity with this brave sister. As we all know, the sidewalk is for fancy walkin' and regular walkin'. And Skating.

February 02, 2004

We Are Part of a Boobie Nation

CBS apologizes for bared breast

Associated Press

NEW YORK -- CBS apologized on Sunday for an unexpectedly R-rated end to its Super Bowl halftime show, when singer Justin Timberlake tore off part of Janet Jackson's top, exposing her breast.

"CBS deeply regrets the incident," spokeswoman LeslieAnne Wade said after the network received several calls about the show.

...

"I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl," Timberlake said in a statement. "It was not intentional and is regrettable."

A.. wardrobe malfunction? Ground control to Major Timberlake, the bustier's dead, there's something wrong. Can you hear me? Thank god he's not going to space. He might have a wardrobe malfunction on the launch pad!

February 01, 2004

No Shirt No Shoes No Life

Bare chest costs Briton Thai drugs bust

BANGKOK (Reuters) - A 35-year-old Briton smuggled 9,000 ecstasy tablets past eight customs officials in Thailand before being stopped on the street the next day and arrested for not wearing a shirt.

"Shit happens," said Alan John Kiernan, who arrived in Thailand from Switzerland on Friday and made it through customs with the ecstasy haul -- worth 5 million baht (88,000 pounds) -- hidden in special panels sewn into his sweat pants.

If found guilty, he could face the death penalty.

...

He added he had taken a few pills himself and appeared to accept his fate relatively calmly. His only regret was not being able to see a bit more of the sprawling Thai capital, he said.

I guess Ecstasy really does give you brain damage. Trafficking drugs to Thailand is not for amateurs, unless they want to become dead amateurs.

In the immortal words of Eazy E :

"To be a dope man, you must qualify /
Don't get high on your own supply"

January 31, 2004

In Germany They Called it "Super-Car"

Hasselhoff claims he had hand in Berlin Wall falling

Speaking to German magazine TV Spielfilm, Hasselhoff said in 1989, the year the wall fell, he had helped reunite the country by singing his song 'Looking for Freedom' among millions of German fans at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.

He said he felt he had moved people on both sides of the wall, although he admitted hardly any of the East Germans could speak English. He said: "I find it a bit sad that there is no photo of me hanging on the walls in the Berlin Museum at Check-Point Charlie.

"After my appearance I hacked away at pieces of the wall that had the black, red and yellow colours of the German flag on it. I kept the big piece for myself and gave the smaller pieces to colleagues at Baywatch."

I never really understood the Austrian/German fascination with David Hasselhoff. I mean, ok, Kitt is a bitchin Camaro for sure. But Michael Knight? Pfft.