Nuclear Beef

Ripped From The Headlines Time Warp Reggae Audio Beef Today. Macka B tells Salman Rushdie to run from the Ayatollah.

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'Run Rushdie Run'

by Macka B, previously unreleased track (recorded circa 1989) from his 1999 compilation Roots And Culture

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In honor of the recent controversy and death threats in Denmark surrounding a newspaper publishing cartoons depicting Mohammed, today's Audio Beef is a flashback to those halcyon days of 1989. Back then, Jihadi terrorism didn't exist. Well, actually Jihadi Terrorism existed, but it only killed Israelis and Filipinos and Persians and so what, right? No Americans... oh, except for those American Soldiers in Lebanon. (* cough *)

Christopher Hitchens dates his awakening about 'Theocratic Fascism' to the 1989 Fatwa calling for his execution issued by Ayatollah Khomeini.

Apparently Hitchens was not the only one to be struck by the controversy and ensuing mayhem, which included the murder of more than a few of Rushdie's associates. British reggae innovator Macka B took the opportunity to write this ridiculous little song, 'Run Rushdie Run.' Regarding the substance of his advice to Rushdie, I'll let the man speak for himself.

Salman Rushdie, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes
You write a book, but to the Muslim you is a crook!
So here's some advice now!

(Chorus)
Run, Rushdie, run!
The Muslim them a come!
Run, Rushdie, run!
The Muslim them a come!
Ayatollah gone but the Muslim still a come!
...
Him write one book about the Muslim-lim
A make fun of fi dem prophet and thing
The whole of the Muslim vexed with him-him
Them a said he a blasphemin
...
Now Iran is a country where you find the Ayatollah
And the Muslim faith a what most a dem a follow
Ayatollah get the book, Ayatollah start to holla
Anybody kill Rushdie get three million dollar!
This is an insult to the prophet and to Allah
...
It seem like Salman Rushdie forget
If you live in a this world you have fi have respect
Him write nuff book, nuff money him make
The man is supposed to be an intellect!

He used to be a Muslim, so what him expect
Him know that the Muslims would a get upset
So why him want decide fi risk him own neck
Cause Salman a think about a big fat check

Needless to say, Nuclear Beef does not endorse the views expoused by Macka B in this song. Just wanted to post this little history nugget to remind people that the Jihad didn't start on September 11th, 2001. Murdered over a book, or a cartoon? Sheesh, lighten the hell up, guys! Maybe Rhiannon Rose will let you hit her pot.

(Shouts out to case, who confirmed my translation of the caption to the cartoon, above. It says (paraphrased) ' Mohammed was actually pretty damn practical.' I should point out, though, that the cartoon probably doesn't actually depict Mohammed, as I don't think Mohammed lived in the age of indoor plumbing. Also shouts out to hawk, who likes Macka B.)

Posted by darwin at 02:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The kind people who host Nuclear Beef have recently upgraded the version of Movable Type which it uses. As a result, we've lost a few customizations.

First, we've lost the blogroll. I've got it around here somewhere, so I'll be re-linking y'all in a bit. Second, we've lost the custom RSS/Atom Feeds for only the Audio Video Beef posts. I hope to be able to reconstruct those, shortly, so that people who are subscribed to them will continue to be subscribed. Third, some of the post dates appear to have been munged in the process, such that the Atom feed no longer correctly sorts by date. Fourth, the page no longer lists my contact email, nuclearbeef AT gmail D0T com.

I apologize for the mess, and hope to have it cleaned up soon. Please let me know in comments if you experience any unusual issues. Also, If there's any Friend Of Beef out there who wants to help me take this opportune moment to give this poor default site a much-needed stylistic makeover.. please let me know. email : nuclearbeef AT gmail D0T com.

UPDATE : RSS feeds are fixed. Thx to teh k-v.

Posted by darwin at 03:56 AM | Permalink

By overwhelming popular demand.. here's some Scottie Chapman pics, from her recent appearance on Monster Garage. Ok, so it was only one girl who asked in comments, but she asked nicely!

First, we have Scottie Giving us her classic look. Striking but almost.. bemused?

(click for larger)

And here we have Scottie doing what she does best. Welding the hell out of something!

(click for larger)

Enjoy! And please, no rude comments.

(I recently worked out a new (much easier) screenshot method, so I'll be going through old episodes of mythbusters for Kari and Scottie screen caps. Holla. Shouts out to Darby and Poeks, Scottie fans both.)

Posted by darwin at 05:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)

A friend of mine pasted me this link almost a year ago. Since then, I've had it up in a tab of my browser. Why? Because I care about the cleanliness hypothesis for allergies and asthma?

No, because of this picture :

IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S CHUGGING CAWK!!! HAW HAW HAW!

Ok, I'm glad that's finally out of my system. Now I can close that tab with a clear conscience. Shouts out to adamb, who first noticed the cawk chugging pic.

Posted by darwin at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Techno-Glitch Audio Beef Today. Rebus Tape has a Community-Fusion on a Sketch Show.

(Rhiannon Rose, right, and Heidi Farnola enjoy pot yesterday at Marijuana Party bookstore in Vancouver. Photo: Lyle Stafford/The Globe and Mail)

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'Back In The Space Again'
by Sketch Show

'I.N.V.'
by Rebus Tape vs. Co-Fusion

Both tracks from the 2003 Toshiba EMI Limited (To Make It!) various artists release Space Invaders.

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First of all, big ups to the smoking hot lady above. Girl, you is well fit. Respect.

Today's Beef is Japanese Beef. No, it's not from Kobe. Frankly, I don't know where it's from... cause I can't read Japanese. (If only I knew people who could read Japanese -- perhaps they'd read the linked pages and see if there's anything interesting there?) The best I can figure it, Co-Fusion are Shuji Wada (DJ Wada) and Heigo Tani. Rebus Tape is Shiro Nakajima, and Sketch Show is Haruomi Hosono and Yukihiro Takahashi. All other biographical details are for Japanese speakers only!

I happened upon this weird Japanese-only techno release when the Sketch Book track came up in the shuffle. It's only a minute or so long, but it made an impression. I then discovered that Space Invaders is mostly sorta boring shuffley Japanese techno. I know there's a lot of people who really like Shufflemaster and Chester Beaty and Ken Ishii but the drumtracks-lite style just never did anything for me. I had no idea that there was glitchy Japanese techno!

So imagine my surprise when I heard 'I.N.V.', a track which could have easily come from the Subhead boys or Justin Berkovi. It's complex and layered but still pounds with that live, unleashed feeling. I wasn't too surprised to find out that Co-Fusion has done more than a few releases on Projex, DJ Rush's legendary ghetto techno (not ghetto tech) label. It sounds like you'd love to hear it on a dancefloor, but it's actually not well designed for DJing. This may not be immediately apparent, but the counter-punctual rhythm that starts at about minute 4 sounds as if two tracks are playing out of sequence. When you're trying to mix in a third and you can't tell if it's drifting or that's the weird record, it's bad news. This is great listening techno, but I wouldn't want to try to mix it during its middle 4 minutes.

Turn it up in your headphones, close your eyes and pretend you're not at work for a few minutes.

(Shout outs to forksclovetofu and ready rock rex, who I think will both enjoy today's selections. I also have some Beef Programming Notes: I will be posting a lot more dance music because god damn it someone's got to and it ain't gonna be Cloneblog 4000. I love me some other music and I'd love to spend time posting it, but y'all clowns are killing me. I've got so much good techno, you don't even know. Finally, for the Scottie Chapman fans out there: I got a bunch of good caps from her appearance on Monster Garage (wtf?) and I'll post them if you ask real nice in comments.)

Posted by darwin at 11:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Persian Drum And Bass Hip-Hop Audio Beef Today. Deev shows that the Persians are ancient masters of the 2-step. Boh!

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'Hamlevar'
by Deev posted at Deev.org in 2004.

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Today's Audio Beef is a little slice of Persian-American junglist business. Deev apparently lives somewhere in California, though details are murky to those of us who don't read Persian in Arabic script. He has posted three tracks at his website, along with translated lyrics for one, 'Sarbaaze Irani' which apparently translates as 'Iranian Soldier.' These lyrics are fiercely Persian Nationalist and frankly militant.

Iranian soldier, anytime you stand up freedom begins
while you sit alone the dark and black night continues
decision is your, it's your choice, you personally have to want freedom
Iranian soldier, Iranian soldier

what you hear is voice of a new generation
demanding the right for freedom of speech
and for the freedom of anyone whom
are jailed for voicing their opinions

our struggle will continue on
until the lion-and-sun is displayed on our flag

It's interesting to see how portable the Hip-Hop idea has proved, and I gotta say that this is the best Persian Hip-Hop I've ever heard. Of course, it's also the only Persian Hip-Hop I've ever heard. But Deev has a tight flow and whatever he's saying sure sounds nice. On 'Hamlevar' he lets loose on a Drum And Bass track and sounds an awful lot better than most English language MCs rhyming that fast. Respect! Boh! Big Up Persia!

(Shoutouts to Persian bloggers The Spirit Of Man where I first heard Deev. Is it just me, or does the Iranian Persian Nationalist symbol above look a bit like a false-color Rastafarian icon? Lion of the Tribe of Persia? Babylon is right next door...)

Posted by darwin at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

It's All The Same Song Rock Audio Beef Today. The Pixies and Tom Petty spot their Girls and Men.

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'Here Comes My Girl'
by Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers from their 1979 album Damn The Torpedos

'Here Comes Your Man'
by The Pixies from their 1989 album Doolittle

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Today's Audio Beef is two tracks which are seperated by 10 years. One of them is considered mainstream, the other alternative. Both are ultimately the same song, a tribute to that flush of excitement when you see your lover coming. Of the two, I probably prefer the Tom Petty song because I'm a maudlin sap. The Pixies song, however, I would play at top volume in the shower. Ah, the rich tapestry of life.

A few years ago, Neil Young was playing a show when a heckler yelled out "They all sound the same!" Neil, being the cool customer that he is, immediately replied "It's all the same song!" There's been a million songs about Boy meeting Girl and their coming and goings. There will be many, many more, and I'm glad of it.

(Extra extra extra special shout outs to the Slackster, who just made the world a richer place. Yay!)

Posted by darwin at 12:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Here's two more pics for all you Kari Byron fans out there. These pics are from the Mythbusters episode where they tested the hair cream decapitation myth.

First, here's Kari striking a classic pose with her umbrella. Sorta reminds me of Scarlett O'Hara or something. Or Mary Poppins, I guess.

(click for larger)

And here's the smile under that umbrella from the opposite angle. She looks a bit surprised here, too..

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Enjoy, and please, no filthy comments. Till next time..

Posted by darwin at 12:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (21)