Nuclear Beef

I was reading this awesomer history of Guns n' fuckin' Roses a few days back and decided to look at the Amazon reviews for Appetite For Destruction. There, I found this gem of the Internet Age. Strangely, it had been posted just a few days earlier...

It's a little too much and a bit obscene. It's GNR!, May 16, 2005

Reviewer: S. Shahzad Aslam (Karachi, Pakistan) - See all my reviews

Being 13, I can't really use the very popular "way back in '87" format, but I still have to say that Appetite For Destruction is the best rock album I've ever heard, and I've heard most, from The Beatles to ... everyone else.

My cousin had just come back from America, and her boombox was blasting out guitar riffs that seemed vaguely familiar ... "Take me down to the Paradise City--" BANG. I found myself finishing the chorus. I had heard this somewhere before! And as I listened the album through (which I'm doing right now -- "My Michelle" is starting) I knew this was my favorite band on earth. Four years on, it still is.

"Welcome To The Jungle" rolles out the Welcomewagon with a party rocker, great riffs and a beat you want to jump to. "It's So Easy" has Axl sounding like ten more of himself, and then the masterpiece that is "Nightrain." It's a fantastic song, and one of the best GNR tracks. "Out Ta Get Me" and "Mr. Brownstone" are galaxies apart as far as tune and beat go, but one is just as good as the other, that is, great. Then that fateful song, "Paradise City," the immortal intro and the brilliant solo, ending with the chorus repeating constantly over some incredible guitar work.

"My Michelle" is another great track about writing a letter to a chick called Michelle; "Think About You" is a great song, too. "Sweet Child O' Mine" deserves another 1000 words - no, paragraphs. The intro is genius, the lyrics are sublime, and the second half is beyond simple, perishable words that vanish as soon as they come out of your mouth. An incredible solo which is kicking off right now, and the ending keeps up the great tradition of Slash and Axl in very (very) loud mode, yet in harmony and complementing each other. Axl/Slash are just as good as Plant/Page, Tyler/Perry, Bon Jovi/Sambora and anyone else, probably better. After that, come "You're Crazy" and "Anything Goes," both lots of fun and tracks you will never tire of. Both are fast-paced rockers, and they're GNR, so they guarantee their quality themselves. To finish, "Rocket Queen" is a brilliant song, one of the best.

From "Welcome To The Jungle" to "Paradise City" to "Sweet Child O' Mine," and lastly, but far from least, "Rocket Queen," this is the only album on my iTunes that gets 5/5 straight through. As for "Rocket Queen," it is the perfect ending. It ends with a very long verse, Axl professing love in a high-pitched voice, and Slash baffling you with the magnificence of the guitar that he plays. A GLOROIOUS ending. And I have only 2 minutes before it starts, so better hurry now. "Anything Goes" will be over soon ...

All in all, this is the best rock record ever, and a prelude to the two albums that, IMHO, are its two runner-ups. This made me hungry for destruction! And best of all, MY parents never objected to Axl's obscenities, and never objected to anything at all until my dad accidentally put on Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Alas! Poor, poor, desecrated disk ... I can mourn later, I've run out of time! Are you still reading? Get the bloody album!

(emphasis mine)

I love Appetite For Destruction and so does S. Shahzad Aslam, 13 year old music fan from Pakistan. If you do the math on his story, he first heard Appetite when he was 9. In Karachi, Pakistan! He's obviously a huge GnR fan, and I send him props from America. Too bad about that Hedwig CD...

S. Shahzad Aslam, if you happen to google yourself and see this... you should start a mp3 blog. You've clearly got the talent and the love of music. And you like Guns N' Fuckin' Roses!!! Rock on!