Nuclear Beef

70s Experimental Rock and Parappa Audio Beef Today. Can asks whether turtles have short legs while Parappa drives with a moose.

'Turtles Have Short Legs' by Can from the 1971 single Turtles Have Short Legs, available on the 1990 compilation Cannibalism 2

'Check And Turn' by Parappa The Rappa featuring Moose from the 1996 Playstation game Parappa The Rappa

The Can track is apparently a bit of a Can rarity. I'm not musically educated enough to know who Can is, but they're on my hard drive and they rock. (So here we are.)

Apparently they're some kooky German guys who recorded a whole pantload of records that nobody (including critics) liked. This particular song appeared on a single in 1971, around the time they recorded Tago Mago. It features Japanese singer Kenji "Damo" Suzuki, though I use the term "singer" a bit broadly here. He certainly has energy, and I suppose the words don't really matter that much. (Oh, turtles have a short regs, not for warking!! )

There's a great groove happening here and the changes just pump up the jam. I guess this is Prog Rock before it started (Rush) sucking. I think part of the horror (Rush) that befell Prog Rock had to do with an army of fans who write reviews like this :

Once back into the full ensemble fray, Holger Czukay starts pumping up with his space-filled Jaguar bass lines, and Damo throws in a line about “a cigalette (sic)/Not for the toking”. The guitar-dominated coda, sees Michael Karoli playing around the edges of all the unpeeled paint upon the walls of Schloss Norvenich with extra sensory mojo and feeling at top volume as circling drums just continue pressing onward and upwards, seeing drummer Jaki Liebezeit soon hitting his cymbals not with sticks but carefully aimed and stamina-directed tree trunks, beating the piece to rest.

(Uh, ok, dude. Whatever you say.)

The Parappa track, well. It's from Parappa the Rappa. In order to record it, I actually had to play the Playstation game. Presumably there's some easier way to extract the audio, but google and emus fell short. So when you hear Parappa rapping along, just know that's yr obt. svnt... Darwin.

The things people do for love!

(Why did I post Parappa with this Can track? Well, you'll just have to click them to find out!)

(Once you've listened to both, you'll understand the connection... If Cat Stevens' copyright owners can win a judgement against The Flaming Lips over similarities between 'Father and Son' and 'Fight Test' then this one is a slam dunk.)

Posted by darwin at 03:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (1)

NTFS File System Corruption Audio Beef Today. DJ Data Corruption vs. Darwin's mp3 directory in a Rap Crucifiction.

'Rap Crucifiction' (DJ Data Corruption Mix) by Darwin from 2004

'Rap Crucifiction' (Original Mix) by Darwin from 1999

I've been having computer problems recently. I lost a drive, and then one of my other drives started randomly corrupting data. The weirdest thing is that it munged a part of a mp3 directory, but left the files intact. Intact, but mixed together. One of the directories munged was the Billboard Top 100 from 1950-2002. There was also a set of my original songs in the munged directory.

The first MP3 above is an example of what a DJ Data Corruption remix sounds like. Remarkably dope data dada. Name the 'samples' in comments and I will mail you a FREE copy of the Darwin mix CD Don't Think Too Much *! (You can listen to a mp3 of the mix via that link, too.)

I've included the original track for reference. Samples in the original are from the 1998 Rapumentary The Industry. I wrote some perl that generates similar output a few years ago, but the fact that CHKDSK decided to do this is pretty mind-boggling.

(Feedback is encouraged. Anyone want to hear some more remixes by DJ Data Corruption? Also, Afeni Shakur can feel free to contact me about the above image. ZZZ.)

Posted by darwin at 10:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Iranian Dissident Video Beef Today. (NOT MUSIC!) Hashem Aghajari feels that the people of Iran are a good people. Even (especially) the journalists!

'The People of Iran Are a Good People' featuring Hashem Aghajari from PBS's Wide Angle, Episode 'Red Lines and Deadlines'. Aired Sept 23, 2004.

In this clip from the PBS documentary series "Wide Angle," an interviewer asks Iranian dissident Hashem Aghajari how he feels about the support he received from the Iranian press.

INTERVIEWER: How do you feel about all this support? HASHEM AGHAJARI: I feel that the people of Iran are very good people. The young generation and journalists showed, by their actions, that in the battle between truth and lies, they stand on the side of truth.

He was sentenced to death for apostasy in November 2002.

He had enraged conservatives in June that year, when he questioned the rule of clerics and the principle of emulating religious leaders.

He said Muslims should not follow Islamic clerics "like monkeys."

Watch his face, and listen closely to the words he uses. This is clearly a man who understands the importance of saying the 'right' thing. I think he's being very clear when he says the people of Iran are a good people. He's right. They have real journalists, too.

If only they could have a government worthy of them.

Posted by darwin at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

www.NuclearBeef.com hosting is moving between hosts later today (Wed, Sep 22).

In the interim, you can use http://www.awesomer.org to reach The Beef. The site move should be transparent, but nameservice caching will point towards the old IP for a few days.

UPDATE: If you can see this, you're on the new server. Beef... you're soaking in it. Thanks to kylev for all of his hard work, which made this migration completely painless from my perspective.

Posted by darwin at 04:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Remixed Indie Dance Audio Beef today. Tommy lets the poison spill into The Faint Sunshine.

'Let The Poison Spill From Your Throat - Tommy Sunshine Mix' by The Faint from 2003's Danse Macabre Remixes on Saddle Creek / Astralwerks

In case we needed more proof that rock music can be dance music, here's a great dance remix of a classic track from The Faint's last album. Tommy Sunshine is a legendary Atlanta area house DJ and producer. Here, he punches up the beat but otherwise leaves the track alone. The driving beat increases the urgency of the vocal and showcases the tension that marks the best Faint songs. Good lyrics and a guitar-driven chorus round out this superb remix of a superb song.

Some people get bit from the inside /
When they talk it's cold and sour
And no, there's nothing they can do now /
They've had their way too many times
If you glare to get what you want /
It'll become your look
If there's dirt you've got on someone /
You'll let it loose without a thought

(Rock stars.. is there anything they can't do?)

Posted by darwin at 09:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

New De La Soul Audio Beef Today. De La and Flavor Flav check if the price is right, while Common and De La are like sands in the hourglass.

'Days of Our Lives' by De La Soul featuring Common

'Come on Down' by De La Soul featuring Flavor Flav

Both tracks are from the forthcoming Grind Date, scheduled for release on October 5, 2004 on Sanctuary Records. I suggest that you reserve a copy by clicking that link.

(Note that this is the first De La Soul album on Sanctuary. as they have ended their wack contract with Tommy Boy Records. Note also that Tommy Boy records doesn't get a link. Welcome to the Internet, assholes guys!)

You've probably deduced by now that there's a new De La Soul album coming out soon. Here's two standout tracks from it! De La is still coming nice with over a decade up in the game.

The Common track is similar to his "Gaining One's Definition" (featuring Cee-Lo). Mellow, reflective and personal. I've always felt that Common and De La are a perfect fit; if there was ever a Plug Five I think he'd be a good choice.

(He showcases his strength here... and oddly enough it's not trying to be Al Green like his last album.)

My Moms died from second hand smoke /
I wish yo ass would die from those second hand rhymes you wrote

The Flavor Flav track, well.. features Flavor Flav. There's no substitution or de-caf version, just the self-described "Greatest Hype Man In The Business." I have to say I'm inclined to agree with him. Flav does his echoing, back and forth and FlavaLaugh™ routine that made him a legend. The great thing about him is that even if he descended into self-parody.. how would you tell? De La Soul brings clever lyrics over the sort of uptempo beat which is perfectly suited to their 2004 styles.

Wondering why you can't stand me /
Is it because I'm the main Jackson /
And you're just Titos and Randys?

(It turns out that Rock Co.Kane Flow is from "Grind Date" ... mystery resolved! The album also features guest spots from Sean Paul and Ghostface, as well as beats by Jake One and Madlib. Yeah, I know. Weird, huh?)

Posted by darwin at 01:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

VH1 Getting Pwned Video Beef Today. One Night in Paris during the Best Summer Ever.

'VH1 Gets Owned' from VH1's Best Week Ever special 'Best Summer Ever'

In this clip, the staff of VH1's 'Best Week Ever' gets owned by The Beef. They ranked Paris Hilton as the 12th Best thing of the summer. They reference the release of One Night In Paris and the patriotic tribute to 9/11. You know, the same patriotic tribute that The Beef linked on June 14th, 2004.

Hey VH1, welcome to Internet Time. PWNED.

(The link to "Best Week Ever" is the link to the Best Week Ever Blog.. which doesn't reference the Porno Patriotism either. Incidentally, the 3rd best thing of the summer was.. Fahrenheit 9/11. What liberal media?)

Posted by darwin at 12:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Media Eating Its Own Tail Video Beef for you today. Tammy Faye tells the Moral Majority to suck it up, because God loves Ron Jeremy.

TV Makes Strange Housemates (20mb VCD .mpg) featuring Ron Jeremy, Tammy Faye Messner and Sally Jesse Raphael. (Sally Jesse is a bitch so she doesn't get a link.)

SALLY: What are you going to say to members of the Moral Majority who are going to say "I saw you on that show?"

TAMMY FAYE: I'm going to say "C'mon guys, suck it up!" God is love, God loves everybody.

...

RON JEREMY: If someone tried to take a Bible away from her, I'd kill them.

Amen. This is a perfect example of why I am such a huge fan of Tammy Faye. She really understands what Jesus was getting at. Love the sinner, hate the sin... God loves everybody.

I have wrestled with the decision to share with you or just not say anything. But, you are my friends and sharing is what friendship is all about. Somehow it helps me to talk with you about it.

I'll certainly keep her in my thoughts. I encourage you to do the same.

(There's a new season of The Surreal Life. It features Dave Coulier, Flavor Flav, Jordan Knight, Brigitte Nielsen, Ryan Starr and Charo. It's excellent, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to watch media and celebrity eat itself.)

UPDATE : Aw, crap. Video link was broken. Fixed now. Le sigh.

Posted by darwin at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (2)

Willfully Ignorant R&B and Classic Country Audio Beef for you today. Connie Francis, Mario Winans.. P. Diddy and.. Enya?

'I Don't Want To Know' by Mario Winans from 2004's Hurt No More

'I Really Don't Want To Know' by Connie Francis, collected on (among others) the Souvenirs Box Set

Both songs today are about an experience which too many people have had.. asking a question when you don't really want to know the answer.

Mario brings the quiet storm over a sample of Enya's 'Boadicea' (the same song used in 'Ready or Not' by the Fugees). I've heard this song on the radio quite a bit, as Mario is on Bad Boy records and therefore has mega hype. What really struck me (other than the dope beat) was the message of the song. With all the songs about heartless pimpin' players, it was shocking to hear Mario offering his throat to his lover. What kind of weird bastard willfully ignores his girl cheating? What part of the game is that?

(There's a wack verse by Puff. Daiddy but it's over soon enough.)

I don't want to know /
If you're playing me /
Keep it on the low

Connie really doesn't want to know the answer to the question she's asking. This song goes out to all those who are haunted by the idea that their lover has loved before. Connie Francis has the golden voice, and this country standard shows how she makes every song her own. Her chuckle at 0:46 says more than Mario Winans' whole album.

Oh how many lips have kissed you /
And set your soul aglow? /
How many, how many, I wonder /
Gee, I really don't want to know

So here's some words of advice from Beef to You, gentle reader: the next time you ask a question, be sure you actually want to know the answer.

UPDATE: Some whore mp3 search engine or something linked to this post, so the download link for 'I Don't Want To Know' doesn't work anymore. Thanks, guys!

Posted by darwin at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ass-celebrating Hip-Hop Beef today. What's Danger Mouse sitting on?

'What You Sitting On (DM's 26 Remix)' by DJ Danger Mouse featuring Tha Alkaholiks, Jemini and Cee-lo from 2004's Twenty Six Inch EP

Who could resist a track with an uptempo beat by Danger Mouse (of Grey Album fame), hook by Cee-Lo (ex. Goodie MOB) and verses by Tha Liks? Oh, and Jemini (who doesn't really impress me) is on here too.

What exactly is 26 inches seems to be up for grabs. Tha Liks all rhyme about big asses. Cee-Lo is talking about 26 inch spinner rims. So in other words, all Hip-Hop angles are covered. The only thing keeping this track from classic status is the general weakness of the Alkaholiks and the glaring lack of a verse from Cee-lo. DM probably knew that Cee-lo would overshadow every other MC on the track.

(Unfortunately, despite a Sadat X appearance, the rest of the Twenty Six EP isn't really all that.)

Girl, what you sittin' on, dubs or douce-douces?
She said she don't fuck with rap niggas... just producers.

Posted by darwin at 09:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

the faint desperate guys lyrics
the faint lyrics desperate guys
the faint and lyrics and desperate guys
the faint merch booth putting on i like you
lyrics - desperate guys - the faint
i was acting indifferent putting on makeup lyrics
faint at the merch booth lyrics
faint lyrics desperate guys

(Well, you get the picture.)

Turns out there's a demand for the lyrics to Desperate Guys by The Faint. An untapped market niche, as it were. Apparently I'm not the only person who likes this song, and thinks the lyrics are clever. Mark my words, this Faint album is the one that blows them up huge. MTV time for The Faint.

In the interest of being a total whore (and how!) here are the lyrics to 'Desperate Guys' by The Faint, from their (September 14th, 2004) album Wet From Birth. This page will be the historically first result for the above queries which actually contains the requested content. Will being "first to market" make my Int0rnet dreams come true? Time will tell!

One small step for the InnerWeb. One exceedingly self-referential blog entry for mankind.

(Transcription is mine, though all credit is due Allah. Only the mistakes are mine. Copyright obviously belongs to The Faint.)

Was it more than attraction and a physical lust?
Her loins, my imagination, that first inconceivable touch
That I was planning, uh, I mean wishing, uh..
How embarassed I'd been if you knew what I was thinking

And whoa, when it started, my first thought was love
Not just lust, because when I heard you speak, I felt warm
In the evening I saw you, you were warming the bass up
Your hair covered your face up
I was acting indifferent at the merch booth, putting on makeup

We met up at a party in a swamp on a yacht
I spun the helm, but we were docked

I crossed my fingers, but I didn't beg
Cause I knew you knew
Cause I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
But I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you
I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you

Close to you, wishing we're conjoined at the tongue
Can you hear me thinking? I should stop

I crossed my fingers, but I didn't beg
Cause I knew you knew
Cause I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
But I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
But I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you

I figured desperate guys
Never had a chance with you
I knew that desperate guys
Would never have a chance with you

I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it
I knew you knew I liked you
I knew you knew it

Here at The Beef, we aim to please. You aim too, please.

(If you came here via a search for these lyrics, why not stroke my egosay hello in the comments for this post? While you're at it, have a look around! There's silliness and good music afoot.)

Posted by darwin at 05:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)

Political Journalistic Audio Beef today. Not music!

Vietnamese Americans Join The Debate On John Kerry's War Record from KQED's Pacific Time, August 26, 2004.

This is an interesting segment from KQED's Pacific Time. Host Nguyen Qui Duc interviewing Ngo Nhan Dung, editor-in-chief of Nguoi Viet, the largest daily Vietnamese newspaper in the US.

He asks what the Vietnamese-American community makes of the recent Swift Boat Vets controversy and Kerry's Vietnam record.

NGUEYEN QUI DUC: ... There are also questions about conduct during the war.

NGO NHAN DUNG: Most Vietnamese are more concerned with the withdrawal of American troops from Vietnam. The Vietnamese are more worried at that time, they were very worried about Americans abandoning Vietnam.

NGUEYEN QUI DUC: One can assume then that there is a certain generation of Vietnamese who lived through the war and who came out of Vietnam at the end of the war.. would they not be very happy with Senator Kerry's action after the war : the anti-war activities of Senator Kerry.

NGO NHAN DUNG: I think this is the most important thing that Vietnamese refugees in the states are concerned about. Because in the mind of the Vietnamese refugees, the reason why the Americans got out of Vietnam, they think, the main reason is because of the anti-war movement.

NGUEYEN QUI DUC: But it's been 30 years or so, and the Vietnamese community is now very varied and diverse. So isn't there a shift in political thinking among the Vietnamese-Americans. Isn't there a younger generation that would think differently?

NGO NHAN DUNG: Yes, I think that the younger would think different from their parents. But their parents are also very influential. And for the young people who left Vietnam after the war and who have lived under the Communist regime, they also resent all the anti-war movement because their parents and the younger generation, both of them endured the very harsh life in South Vietnam after the war. And they also see many people escaped from Vietnam and hundreds of thousands of people died during this escape. so when they thought about the war and the end of the war, they blame the anti-war movement. Both generations, the older and the younger, thought that way and it's very difficult to change them now.
...
NGUEYEN QUI DUC: Would you give us a sense of how you view this whole incident or this whole debate in terms of its influence on the Vietnamese-American voters?

NGO NHAN DUNG: I think that the Vietnamese voters have made up their mind. Many of them are inclined to vote for Republicans because they all will believe that the Republicans are more Anti-Communist than the Democrats.

My whole life I've been told that the US was just making things worse for the South Vietnamese.

That the US military presence in South Vietnam was unwanted, hated, and wholly bad. That the Vietnamese people wanted us to leave, and that the heroes of the anti-war movement stopped a pointless and ill-advised war. That we did the right thing when we pulled out, leaving South Vietnam at the mercy of the Communists.

It seems that the refugees of South Vietnam disagree. They should know, right?

(Yes, this audio is re-encoded from the KQED stream, because mp3 is good and real audio javascript links are bad.)

Posted by darwin at 11:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

PROTECTION .......: Bad Programming
Release Note: When we tried to install the original of this game, it didnt detect the cd in the tray as original, due to some really bad programming on the part of the developer. After some debugging we discoverd that the game had shipped with the wrong cdlabel. This problem has been corrected. Enjoy this fine old school rpg.

(Note: Of course I didn't actually pirate this game. It looks lousy, frankly. No thanx!!

Posted by darwin at 12:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Glitchy Downtempo Audio Beef Today. Heat Sensor falls in a river, Prefuse 73's irony wears thin.

'When Irony Wears Thin' by Prefuse 73 from 2002's 92 vs 02 EP on Warp Records

'Fall Into Creek' by Heat Sensor from his 2004 Touch EP on Sound-Ink Records

(I would hyper-link Heat Sensor's page.. but it's broken! Go Sound-Ink!)

Here's two short instrumental tracks of high quality. Edits galore, sudden changes, confusing high-pitched noise. Fans of Autechre, Squarepusher, edIT, &c. are advised to check. The Prefuse track (2002) indicates how ahead of the curve he was. The Heat Sensor track (2004) shows how quickly everyone else has caught up.

You should all know who Prefuse is by now, after 2003's titanic One Word Extinguisher and Extinguished Outtakes. Heat Sensor are the guys behind half of the incredible beats on MF Doom's 2003 classic Vaudevillie Villian.

These days I think I prefer Heat Sensor and edIT to Prefuse. Prefuse certainly better watch his back or the next generation is going to eat his lunch. Ask not whom the MPC tolls... it tolls for you.

(Unfortunately the rest of the Touch EP is marred by sub-par MC guest-spots.)

Enough selling. Click the links already.

Posted by darwin at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Non-prescient echoes of the future Audio Beef today. Brian Eno and Tone (the Tiger) on Tails.

'Burning Skies' by Tones on Tail (from 1984's (out of print) Pop) available on the collection Everything on Beggar's Banquet (which is now Warner Music. Boo.)

'Burning Airlines Give You So Much More' by Brian Eno from 1974's Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy), remastered on Astralwerks Records

No way! History, I love history. Something happens, then later, something else happens. So sequential! Thank you first guy, for writing history down. Let's study!

So, Dear Readers from the (not so distant) Future, you should listen to the Tones on Tail track first. Then, when you're about to expire in a neo-retro-futuristic gothy pit of despair, Brian Eno will fly you away on bubbly wings of confusion.

When you reach Kyoto send a postcard if you can /
And please convey my fond regards to Chih-Hao's girl Yu-Lan /
I heard a rumour they were getting married /
But someone left the papers in Japan.

(Hello to K., who also likes Tones on Tail.)

Posted by darwin at 01:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)