Nuclear Beef

Here's a hunting game that evens the odds. In Cabela's Dangerous Hunts you won't merely blast Bambi and friends with impunity, but you'll also square off against wolves, grizzlies, rhinos, leopards, and other animals that can kill you in a heartbeat.
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Dangerous Hunts offers three game modes. Action zone pits you against successive waves of charging animals. After you kill all the nearby threats, you head through a glowing green portal to the next area.

Jimbo: Boys, looky there. That there's a Rocky Moutain black bear, one of the few remaining of its kind. Isn't it beautiful.. By God, it's coming right for us! [Shoots it. It is hit and flips off the mound it was on.]

Stan: Hey, it wasn't coming right for us. It was just sitting there.

Jimbo: Shhh, not so loud. Now that there's just a technicality.

Kyle: What do you mean?

Jimbo: You see boys, the Democrats have passed a lot of laws trying to stop us from hunting.

Cartman: Democrats piss me off!

Jimbo: They say we can't shoot certain animals anymore, unless they're posing an immediate threat. Therefore, before we shoot somethin', we have to say 'It's coming right for us.'

Stan: Wow, you're smart Uncle Jimbo.

Posted by darwin at 02:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Muslim Suspicion of Polio Vaccine Lingers On

The success of the global effort to eradicate polio may rest on the outcome of a week-long tour of India, South Africa and Indonesia by a Nigerian delegation which has been conducting tests on polio vaccines used for immunisation in Nigeria.
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The federal government is hoping this high-powered delegation will these polio vaccines the all clear. That would help to dispel widespread suspicion in the mainly Muslim north of Nigeria that the vaccines contain anti-fertility agents and the virus that causes AIDS.
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The word that polio vaccines were contaminated was first spread by some Islamic preachers. Their claims assumed greater credibility when they were taken up by the self-proclaimed Supreme Council for Shari'ah in Nigeria (SCSN), an organisation led by physician and one-time presidential aspirant Datti Ahmed.
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"I heard about the controversy but my husband agreed that we still give our baby the polio vaccine," Amina Abdulkadir, a 28-year-old mother in Kano city told IRIN. She said that she and her husband had seen the effects of polio on other children and did not want their own to suffer the same fate.

At least there are still a few parents with some sense. This reminds me of the awesome and completely bunk rumour that Autism is caused by vaccines. But hey, if we're going to bring back medieval times, why stop at Polio? Bring back plague!

Posted by darwin at 09:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Three accused of putting hairpieces on cows

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Three livestock exhibitors at last year's Ohio State Fair have been disqualified for allegedly outfitting their Holstein cows with hairpieces. State Fair inspectors said the three glued or painted hair from another part of the animal or from another animal to create straighter backs on the cows and enhance their appearance in the show ring.

This could be a great ad for the Hair Club for Cows. Happy, hairy cows come from.. Ohio.

Props to Dr. Clude for the hooks.

Posted by darwin at 08:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Link to article not available. Sorry, subscription sets you back $600+.

From the editor of Jane's Intelligence Digest

Iran's parliamentary election crisis is raising hopes among Western intelligence agencies that victory for the conservatives will lead to mounting destabilisation and the eventual ousting of the country's hardline Islamic leadership. The reality is rather different. Rising popular apathy towards the political system and widespread disillusionment with the failure of the reformist administration headed by President Mohammad Khatami will assist the conservatives in their effort to regain control of the legislature. People who won't even vote are unlikely to stage mass uprisings in the streets of Tehran.

This raises an interesting question as to the near term future of US foreign policy in Iran. Attempts to counter moderate voter apathy could run afoul of meddling in the internal affairs of the state, yet allowing the hardliners to regain control of the legislature would only upset any possible rapprochement between the US and the government of Iran.

Posted by at 01:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know the Manatee is rightfully the noble Sea-Cow.. but..

An Heroic Cow Saves Woman From Drowning

Kim Riley was herding a herd of 350 cows in early morning darkness Tuesday when they were caught in a torrent of floodwater created by the devastating storm that swept New Zealand early this week.
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"I thought most of the cows had abandoned me," Riley said "They were strong swimmers and left me in their wake. But I looked back and saw one of the last cows bearing down on me, No. 569. As she went by I threw my arm over her neck."

She said when they hit firm ground, they both sat down, puffing and shaking.

Riley previously held little regard for No. 569, calling her "an ugly old tart," but admitted she would find time to thank the beast.

I really like this story. An Ugly, Old, Heroic Cow. New Zealand. And what were they puffing, huh? We also learn that cows are strong swimmers. Perhaps they're not totally useless after all!

Posted by darwin at 01:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Andy Kershaw in North Korea

Sit back and enjoy the first ever radio programme recorded in this isolated and extraordinary country. Andy has described this as the "last great adventure on planet Earth". Even with all the restrictions and supervision, Radio 3 managed to record the music of local musicians. Other highlights include sea shanties from the East coast, a visit to the statue of the great leader and a very brief excursion into South Korea.

Interesting BBC radio series on the music of North Korea. One of the most interesting bits was the revelation that North Koreans actually believe the Americans are still killing their South Korean brothers. North Korea is cult-as-nation. Scary.

Posted by darwin at 10:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

U.K. Teen Has His Warez Deleted By Feds

Joseph James McElroy, 18, of Woodford Green in London, had been found guilty of unauthorized modification of computer data and of impairing the performance of a computer under section three of the 1990 Computer Misuse Act at Bow Street Magistrates in December.
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McElroy accessed 17 computers at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory in Chicago in June 2002, which contained both classified and nonclassified data on atomic weapons and research. But he had only used spare storage space on the labs' computers and broadband access to upload pirated movies, software and games for him and his friends to use. He had also password-protected this space.
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The court ordered that all the pirated software, movies and games found on McElroy's computers be destroyed.

Again, props to A.

Posted by darwin at 10:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Shooting a cow turned Dave Louthan into a crusader

On Dec. 9, at Vern's Moses Lake Meats in Moses Lake, Wash., Mr. Louthan killed the only mad cow found in the United States.

Two weeks later, he says, he was dismissed after four years as Vern's slaughterer when he talked to the television crews outside and told them he was sure the cow, ground into hamburger, had already been eaten. The plant's owners did not return calls seeking comment.

"I got a big mouth," he said in a telephone interview.
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Mr. Louthan said the agent who ordered him to be quiet suggested that he was akin to "an urban terrorist" for spreading alarm about beef.

"I'm not," Mr. Louthan said. "I just want to enjoy my cheeseburger like anybody else. I don't want to think: Is this the magic burger that's going to kill me?"

Every story I read about an individual in the meat industry scares the living bejeezus out of me. Anyone who says anything remotely critical about their masters seems to get completely effed over. The whistleblowers are often so kooky, however, that it's hard to be sure what to think. Are there any sane people in the Meat Industry?

Props to A. on the hookup.

Posted by darwin at 10:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Who Is The Real Howard Dean?

Now I know that Howard Dean is so like, two weeks ago and over.

That said, bolhuijo did this awesome photoshop revealing the TRUE face of Howard Dean :

Props to AndyW for the idea.

Posted by darwin at 01:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We Were Asleep

Commissioner John Lehman said he found it inexplicable that inspectors would let a group of Arabs with knives onto the airplanes. "It doesn't pass the common sense test," he said.

Did a member of the 9/11 commission really just say that he found it inexplicable that inspectors would let a group of Arabs with knives onto the airplanes? Someone seems to still be asleep.

I'm generally opposed to "racist" histrionics, but is there a non-racist explanation for Lehman's statement as quoted/paraphrased?

Props to Cyan on the hookup. She will bring the Nuclear Beef shortly.

Posted by darwin at 01:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Brian Behlendorf (on a MAILING LIST (ew, how 1990s)) alerted me to this SlashDot Q&A with a reporter who helped start a Linux Users Group in Iraq.

Apparently Iraq used to be the The Land Without Linux. Our cultural imperialism has won us GNU converts! U S A This fact alone should be enough to convince anti-war nerds that we've done right by Iraq.

But he just doesn't know enough about Linux, since it was all but unknown in Iraq during Saddam's regime. I find that is typical--when I explain Linux to just about any Iraqi, they get it quickly and want it.

Saddam deprived the people of LINUX. The man was a monster. He had to go!

I was also reminded of this old Healing Iraq entry and photoblog about LAN cafes in Iraq:

Of course all the games we get are copies and we rarely find originals. There are (thankfully!) no such things as copyrights in Iraq. Which means you are able to buy a PS game for half a dollar. These games reach us the moment they are released in neighbouring countries.

It appears that Iraqi Freedom™ includes the the right to 0day warez. If only the US could have such Freedom™. They're way ahead Over There.

Posted by darwin at 12:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Store bans trolley woman

SHOPPER Patricia Evans was barred by a supermarket for having her trolley the WRONG WAY round.

Teacher Patricia, 50, pushed her trolley alongside the checkout facing forwards.

But an assistant told her she had to turn it around because the cut-price LiDL chain insists they must go in backwards.
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After paying for her £30 goods she was told: "Don't bother coming back - you are banned."

She said yesterday: "It was outrageous. They don't talk to you like that at Marks & Spencer."

As a person who is known to extract the highest performance from his shopping cart, I feel it is my duty to stand in solidarity with this brave sister. As we all know, the sidewalk is for fancy walkin' and regular walkin'. And Skating.

Posted by darwin at 12:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (1)

Man, do I love these Iraqi Bloggers. It's ever so satisfying to read a debunking of the faulty anti-war "quagmire" ideas I hear. It's even more satisfying when the debunking comes directly from the horse's mouth.

Here's a good example of the new freedom of speech now enjoyed within the Iraqi Quagmire™ :

Five Gallons of Gasoline.

Oh my god what a fool I was. Yes, I realized this just lately, although I had my doubts but I was blinded by some facts and now thanks to some good friends of the Iraqi people, I've opened my eyes to see the naked truth. ...
For 9 months I've thought that things were OK, that America did the right thing, we got rid of S.H. and his killing machine, that I'm happy, free and dreaming of a better future.
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Another depressing news was that there will be no more public executions, what am I talking about, there will be no executions at all, can you believe it? There are no more action or amusement!
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You made me realize that freedom doesn't worth waiting for hours to get 5 gallons of gasoline, and 10 hours of power shortage a day (even if it was temporarily). in fact you showed me that freedom means NOTHING to me.

Thank you for showing me that I was born to be a slave and that I enjoyed getting down on my knees in front of my master whoever he was (and there was no one better than Saddam to bow to).

I loved kissing the ground he walks on, and I adored his way of insulting, raping, torturing and killing Iraqis everyday.

A friend has asked me never to use the 4 letter word (and it's not my style to do so), sorry Scott but I can't help not saying For all those who tried to show me how I should feel:

Even if I was wrong (and I'm sure I'M not)To hell with oil, to hell with power supply and F***YOU ALL. GWB MADE THE RIGHT DECISION AND AMERICA DID THE RIGHT THING AND WE ARE FREEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by darwin at 08:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Via Instapundit we are linked to a great Spinsanity post about a damning quote from a White House spokesman which I've already seen making the "BUSH LIED" rounds.

A new myth is making its way through the media: that White House press secretary Scott McClellan said "This is about an imminent threat" about the Iraq war during a press briefing last February. This tall tale, first created by the liberal Center for American Progress, has been repeated several times by journalists who failed to check their facts. As we showed last week, McClellan was actually talking about Iraq potentially posing an "imminent threat" to Turkey if a war started, which would justify invoking the NATO charter and allowing alliance members to help defend Turkey. But analysts at the Center for American Progress inaccurately claimed in their January 29 e-mail newsletter that McClellan made that statement as a reason why "NATO should go along with the Administration's Iraq war."

People ask me why I'm such a hard-core crytpo-fascist. Frankly, it's stuff like this. I see the left struggle and struggle and struggle to come up with the dirt. This sort of crap is the best they can come up with. We are not impressed.

Posted by darwin at 08:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Is Eating Meat A Catholic Sin?

Bruce Friedrich is a Catholic from the Midwest who was recently rated No. 5 on Details magazine's 2003 list of "The 50 Most Influential People Under 38" -- ahead of Tiger Woods, Leonardo di Caprio and Justin Timberlake. What has Friedrich done to deserve his high standing? Surprise answer: He's an animal rights activist on the governing board of the Catholic Vegetarian Society and the advisory board of the Christian Vegetarian Society.

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So, you think the God of Christians never wanted people to eat meat?

The Garden of Eden, God's perfect world, was vegetarian (Gen. 1:29-30), and God called this nonexploitative relationship "good" (Gen. 1:31).

9 out of 10 gods agree! So does Morrissey! Surely they can't be wrong!

Posted by darwin at 01:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

CBS apologizes for bared breast

Associated Press

NEW YORK -- CBS apologized on Sunday for an unexpectedly R-rated end to its Super Bowl halftime show, when singer Justin Timberlake tore off part of Janet Jackson's top, exposing her breast.

"CBS deeply regrets the incident," spokeswoman LeslieAnne Wade said after the network received several calls about the show.

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"I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl," Timberlake said in a statement. "It was not intentional and is regrettable."

A.. wardrobe malfunction? Ground control to Major Timberlake, the bustier's dead, there's something wrong. Can you hear me? Thank god he's not going to space. He might have a wardrobe malfunction on the launch pad!

Posted by darwin at 12:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Patent holder has major bone to pick with ham rival

For a guy who claims a small slice of the ham market, local entrepreneur Pink Logan puts up an expensive fight.

Logan has invested tens of thousands of dollars to protect his patented ham product, even as the patent's expiration date spirals closer.

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He says he will likely duke it out in court with Michigan-based HBH and four of its HoneyBaked Ham licensees for over $3 million in past royalties. He says they sold a boneless ham product that Logan received a 17-year patent on in 1991.

This sounds suspiciously like the secret process behind the McRib sandwich. I wonder if that's why no other fast food chain has duplicated the McRib's success. Damn you, intellectual property! I know the McRib is actually made of vat-grown tofu and therefore Vegetarian. Also, delicious.

Posted by darwin at 12:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Stampede Kills 244 at Hajj Pilgrimage

MINA, Saudi Arabia (AP) -- At least 244 people were trampled to death and hundreds more hurt Sunday under the crush of worshippers in one of the deadliest disasters during the annual Muslim pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia.

The stampede occurred during the stoning of the devil, an emotional and notoriously perilous hajj ritual. Pilgrims frantically throw rocks, shout insults or hurl their shoes at three stone pillars - acts that are supposed to demonstrate their deep disdain for Satan.

Safety measures were in place at the site - one where fatal stampedes have been frequent - but "caution isn't stronger than fate," said Saudi Hajj Minister Iyad Madani. "All precautions were taken to prevent such an incident, but this is God's will."

Surely these pilgrims could find a safer way to Diss Satan, huh? I guess nobody is safe when God's Will is unleashed. He's just mad that the Devil got stoned without him.

UPDATE: The Belmont Club has more thoughts.

Posted by darwin at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Bare chest costs Briton Thai drugs bust

BANGKOK (Reuters) - A 35-year-old Briton smuggled 9,000 ecstasy tablets past eight customs officials in Thailand before being stopped on the street the next day and arrested for not wearing a shirt.

"Shit happens," said Alan John Kiernan, who arrived in Thailand from Switzerland on Friday and made it through customs with the ecstasy haul -- worth 5 million baht (88,000 pounds) -- hidden in special panels sewn into his sweat pants.

If found guilty, he could face the death penalty.

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He added he had taken a few pills himself and appeared to accept his fate relatively calmly. His only regret was not being able to see a bit more of the sprawling Thai capital, he said.

I guess Ecstasy really does give you brain damage. Trafficking drugs to Thailand is not for amateurs, unless they want to become dead amateurs.

In the immortal words of Eazy E :

"To be a dope man, you must qualify /
Don't get high on your own supply"

Posted by darwin at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)